Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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