I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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