By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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