you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Drunk is not a location!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
