its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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