It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
