Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Randomize
