it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
