at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Randomize
