carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
