I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
