Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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