It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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