Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
