great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
