i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
