Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
