i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
