I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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