If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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