Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
