My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
