Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
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