love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
