Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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