fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
