I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
