If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
