I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
