In the future we'll all be gay
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I didn't notice because vodka
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
