i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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