Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
