Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
