Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
