i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
