Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
