Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
