Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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