vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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