i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
