His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
