Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Life is so much better after having sex.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
