i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
