so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
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