Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
