I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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