Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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