I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
