And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
