I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
