She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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