I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
