"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
