So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
